Getting MAD!!!

If you suffer from a lifelong incurable condition it is not uncommon at all to get mad-- mad at the Doctors for not having a cure, mad at your friends and family for not understanding what you are going through 100%, mad at life for being unfair...

There are people that will tell you that you should not get mad or be angry or hurt by what is going on and that just makes you madder because they just 'don't get it' or you end up feeling selfish because you are so mad when 'others have it worse'.

I am not going to tell not to be mad... you should be mad!

Getting diagnosed with an incurable illness is like suffering your own death (I am not kidding)... the person you were is gone and for the rest of your life you will be 'the person with _____'... normal has died and being mad is part of the grieving process. You are grieving the death of your 'normal'.

The normal stages of grieving are-

• Denial and Isolation- you do not want to accept that the normal disease progression will happen to you and tend to become introverted as you come to grips with your diagnosis. Sometimes your isolation is not self directed... you either do not feel up to going out as you used to or old 'friends' that cannot handle the situation start to fade away.
• Anger- you get mad that this has happened to you and search for a 'cause', something to blame.
• Bargaining- you are willing to try anything to try to find normal again, even things that you would have sworn pre-diagnosis were things that you would never do. You try to 'cheat' things as if you could trick your body into allowing you to be 'normal'. (example- I have two family members, my Father-in-law and his brother who both have diabetes, the brother is now blind because he would try to guess how much insulin he needed to eat an entire cake, inject it then eat the cake and my Father-in-law who does the exact same thing even after seeing his own brother go through it)
• Depression- 'why did this happen to me?', you 'give up' because nothing will ever make things better, so why should you even try?
• Acceptance- You have decided to work within your limitations and have decided to adapt your life to your new reality... your new 'normal'.

So being mad is 100% normal, and it is not uncommon to go through these stages over and over as you deal with new situations and new aspects of your condition. After all, your condition is probably not in 'stasis' meaning that it evolves and changes on a daily basis, some things get a little better... some a little worse, and occasionally something new comes along just when you are doing 'good'.

So, no... I will not tell you not to get mad because you have every right to be mad!

I am going to ask you to do something much harder than to not be mad... I am going to ask you to turn that angry energy towards something positive. Use that anger to fuel your fire for awareness and research for your condition.

You might think 'what can I do? I am sick and am only one person', but you have to remember that when you share your story and help raise awareness your voice will join with those you meet. You would be surprised what one voice can accomplish when that person takes the brave step to speak out, giving others the bravery to raise their own voices until your lonely cry becomes a roar!

I am MAD... things keep going wrong... I might not be able to change what is going on but I can raise my voice!